It’s enough to make a chap choke on his Pimms or spill his pinkers down his blazer. What is the world coming to? Lap dancers during Cowes Week?

Yes, it’s for real. At the Waterside pub in Cowes there will be lap dancing from 1 – 7 August. From 9pm to 1am the pub will become ‘an exclusive men’s club’, although the press announcement then goes on to say ‘although not excluding women’. I should think not. After all, who is going to do the dancing? It won’t work with a hairy 14 stone bowman.

The numbers will be restricted to 100, with the first 80 guests paying £20, the remainder £25. The dancers, apparently, come from Elegance, Portsmouth’s first and only lap dancing club.

Not surprisingly there has been a fair amount of local opposition and the police have been consulted. You could not make this up, but the Cowes Police spokesperson is Sgt Julie Cocks.

Bookings at 01983 293 269 or after9@thewatersidecowes.com